New Fuel Emission Standards to Destroy America

In a move clearly designed to destroy America, President Obama passed new fuel emission standards for cars today. The new standards are an attempt to address the absurdist claims of Nobel Prize winning quack scientists about "global warming." Pragmatist critics, of course, worry about the costs in jobs and profits to big oil companies. Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) called it "the result of backroom deals and an ideological agenda that will cause more Americans to lose their jobs. Even though unemployment is at nearly 10 percent, this administration continues to press expensive regulations as if the economic recession never happened." When one reporter asked if lack of regulation might have actually played a part in the recession, Issa laughed and then claimed that only a socialist pig would ask such a silly question. In further proof that this is a plot against average Americans, the socialists up North passed a similar measure on Thursday. Tea baggers across the country promise they will not take this blow lying down.