Saturday, April 03, 2010

Need a Job without a Job History . . . No Problem!

So you cheated your way through high school, earning an honors degree. Then after getting kicked out of five schools (for cheating, those hypocrites), you decided it was just easier to buy your degree online – for a reasonable fee. After a few years toiling in a Wall Street firm you decided the law was for you, and bought your degree online again. Then you had to deal with the bar exam and realized that there was actually some value in actually attending law school. You scoured the Internet for days, but no bar certification for sale! Now what? Well, we have just the site for you – a place where you can upgrade all those holes in your CV with wonderful references that will actually answer the phone: www.buyajobreference.com. No you never actually worked with or for them, but who cares? In a postmodern world, any fiction can become fact with the right sign of approval. Before, one earned success predominantly through merit and hard work. But why can’t the lazy guy make it in America today? If George W. Bush can be president, can’t anybody? We can make your dreams come true!

Caveat Emptor: Once you get that killer job, you might actually have to perform it. So we are working tirelessly to come up with an Avatar-like system that can put your body to work with our team of experts behind it while you relax the day away in the comfort of your home. Stay tuned!

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