Machine Gun America announced that they will be opening a new theme park where youth as young as 13 can fire military-grade weapons at zombie, gangster and cowboy-themed simulators, establishing Orlando's “first automatic adrenaline attraction.” (Daily Kos) Some have oddly questioned the attraction being placed in a family-friendly tourist metropole, for potentially putting children at risk and for possibly sending the wrong message in our age of senseless mass gun violence. But luckily they have instituted safety guarantees: “No one ever shoots by themselves, and no guest is ever in control of the weapon without a range safety officer next to them and participating with them.”
Whew, that makes me feel better. Except for that incident I reported earlier this year when a 9-year-old girl killed her gun instructor. Of course, that couldn’t happen here where kids are invited to just have some fun: “Whether you're looking to unleash your inner action star or become a zombie hunter, experience the exhilarating rush of shooting real machine guns and powerful firearms for a thrill like any [sic] other.” That sounds both safe and healthy, particularly as kids would never mistake each other for zombies as they mindlessly shoot firearms like soldiers, or forget they are not in the middle of a very realistic videogame.
Thank God for that Second Amendment; otherwise we might
actually feel safe walking down Main Street U.S.A. on a pleasant summer afternoon. Imagine that torture …
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