In Newt We Trust

In a near miracle scenario for him and a nightmare scenario for the rest of us, Newt Gingrich has become the latest GOP frontrunner for the nomination, and with so many others now gone and Romney the guy they just don't really want, is it possible this flunky from the late 90s could actually capture the coveted spot to take on the wounded Obama? It is hard to believe that a man that has been twice divorced, who has openly admitted cheating on both women, who was ignominiously removed from power just a few years after steering the GOP back to control of Congress, who famously went against Clinton and essentially lost and who switches positions as often a porn star in a group sex scene. The GOP has consistently shown it malleability since taking power in the 80s, supporting anyone they think has a chance of winning an election, but is this the candidate too far?

The latest from the sometimes brilliant and other times loony Newt is his fascination with the doomsday scenario (NYT and Salon). Maybe he watched Dr. Strangelove too often as a kid, but Gingrich is very worried that a rogue nation might just blow up a nuclear weapon high above the U.S., which he believes would put out all the electricity in the country and lead to mass chaos and "millions would die in the first week alone." This is based on a science-fiction thriller he published in 2009, so it must be true. Except, of course, for scientists who think the idea is far fetched and for the reality that we would retaliate against anyone that did this to us. But Gingrich has used this as his call to launch preemptive strikes against Iran and North Korea. Yes, after the great success of the Iraq effort, Newt believes we should engage in a two front war to stave off our untimely demise. If this isn't sufficient reason to dismiss his presidential ambitions, there are certainly a few other ideas we should consider in making our decision ...

- Newt wants to end child labor laws, so kids can take jobs and learn good work habits (this is particularly clever with such a high unemployment rate).

- Newt figures with our huge deficits the best thing to do is reinvigorate our space program, even though we're not fighting the cold war anymore. Why? Well, we might want to colonize the moon one of these days, and can certainly start mining it for minerals.

- Gingrich said in March 2011: “I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time [my grandchildren are] my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.” [Address to Cornerstone Church in Texas]

- He doesn't believe that getting money from corporations might taint a politician, and that this argument is somehow socialist: “The idea that a congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument.” [To Mother Jones magazine, October 1989]

- Newt has never shied away from ridiculous comparisons, once claiming Obama might be incomprehensible to us because of his "Kenyan, anti-colonial" mentality but also feels comfortable warning us that, "The secular socialist machine represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union once did.” [In his book To Save America: Stopping Obama's Secular-Socialist Machine, May 2010.

- And potentially the most disturbing: “This is one of the great tragedies of the Bush administration. The more successful they’ve been at intercepting and stopping bad guys, the less proof there is that we’re in danger…. It’s almost like they should every once in a while have allowed an attack to get through just to remind us.” [At a book talk in Huntington, NY, April 2008] *

Well at least the conservatives have finally found a voice of reason!

* Thanks to The Nation for some of these quotes: Link.