CEO Speech

I recently did a presentation on political discourse, and started with this speech by the "CEOs of America Benevolence Society" . . .

In these difficult times, it is incumbent upon us to remember that markets are still better than government. Are we socialists? Have we forgotten the foundation of this country. Government does not solve problems, government is the problem. If they start to regulate markets, how are we supposed to afford our third homes in Vermont and Colorado. If they limit our salaries, how are we supposed to pay for the gas on our private jets. Do you really want to live in a world where we have to take commercial flights and wait in line with you schlubs. We are paid 300 times the average worker, but we contribute so much more to the economy. How are the waiters at posh restaurants going to live without our 10% tips. How can the hotel industry stay open without our $2,000 a night rooms. How can we survive as a country if I do not continue to buy $100,000 jewelry for not only our wives but our many mistresses as well. The point is that America only works if the few can maintain beautiful, luxuriously lives that you can read about in magazines and salivate over on television. Don’t forget, you too could someday become rich yourselves.